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Uncaged - Vampire's Kiss (1988) & Never on Tuesday (1989)

This year, I am going to try to get through the whole oeuvre of Nicolas Cage because my fascination with this man and his contradictions is endless. God help me.

Vampire’s Kiss (1988)

So this is where all those Cage memes come from. This is the movie that people are thinking of (even if they’ve never seen it or heard of it) when they are thinking of crazy Nic Cage. Cage plays a literary agent who believes that he has become a vampire after a bloodier than usual tryst with Jennifer Beals’ character. The movie is meant to be a dark comedy that explores whether Cage’s character is mentally ill or not, but it just becomes comedy and flat out farce due to some lifeless direction. The best thing that director Robert Bierman does is unleash the Cage. Not that I’m complaining. I mean the guy eats a real cockroach, and that’s not even the craziest behavior he exhibits in the movie. It’s hard to pick among “Am I getting THROUGH TO YOU?”, screaming the alphabet, and “Too late, too late, too late!!!” for pure Cage gold. I think this would make a great bad movie if the rest of the movie hadn’t been quite dull; maybe fast forward to the aforementioned parts if you want a shot of pure Nic Cage goodness.

Never on Tuesday (1989)

I have to admit that Vampire’s Kiss kind of broke me with it weird (though admittedly awesome) awfulness. When I read the plot description of Never on Tuesday, I knew I couldn’t sit through this and since Cage is only in one scene, I contented myself with watching that one scene on Youtube. Of course, he has a bigass honking fake nose and his interaction with (what I assume) are the protagonists of this movie could have come straight out of a Lonely Island sketch; in fact, I’m sure they did this exact same sketch.

 

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